READER HIJACK: When I Grow Up...16:40
I feel like everyone around me knows what they want to be in their life. A financial manager, an accountant, an economist… but what do I want to be? Well I’m not exactly sure yet. As you can see, I’m currently studying a degree at university that’s the first in it’s kind, and as much as I am thankful for being given this opportunity to be one of the first holders to graduate with this degree under my belt, I just don’t know if I’m doing what I want to do. Ever since high school, people have told me the benefits of doing certain degrees, and maybe it’s because I was easily persuaded and quite sensitive to people’s opinions, I shifted my entire aspirations in that short period of time (the day when we received our ATARs to the final preference days) to suit someone elses dreams for me.
These were the people who only wanted what’s best for me, yet ignored what I thought was best for me. I guess it’s hard because people say that these people are the ‘the ones that will tell you the truth’, and to understand that at young naïve age of 17, that my aspirations weren’t going to get me a solid job in the future, was quite disheartening. Especially if you were in my position, the youngest sibling to older and exceptional achieving siblings, (I guess you could say I silently always compared myself to them, and seeing how happy my parents were, made me want to make them happy like that too.)
But after powering through an entire year doing a combined degree in Business, I transferred into a university where I was pulled out of my comfort zone and challenged in a way I didn’t know could have impacted me so easily. So right now, yes, I’m still doing a special sort of business degree, but is it what I really want to do? I think it’s hard to answer questions like that – just like those questions in interviews where they ask, ‘tell us about yourself’ and all you manage to come out with is that you’re __ years old, studying a degree in ____... and that always makes me wonder, ‘are we defined by what we do?' Because what if we want to do a lot of things? Are we not allowed to pursue them? This is right beside the other thing I wonder about – ‘you don’t look like a business student’ (what does that even mean?!) Does the choice that we make when we are only 17 define who we are and who we can be? Throughout my two years of university experience, I have put myself out there into the events industry, thirsty to get as much knowledge I can, whether it be in the fashion scene or getting involved in a cultural festival, and each and every time I loved it and it has taught me so much about myself. Alongside that, rather than procrastinating by watching TV shows online, or gaming, I spend hours on end looking at online design portfolios or playing around with photoshop. And maybe it’s my inner fangirl coming through, but a singer that I admire a lot once said, “do what you like, love what you do” and it made me realize something…
I’m a girl with a lot of interests, and a lot of ambition to make something out of myself, I understand I am young, and probably ‘confused’ but I know for a fact I need some clarity… to truly find what makes me happy, so it has come to me, at the end of 2014, that the world is our oyster, and we all just need some time to explore it.
[This blog was written by a Business student currently studying at the University of Technology, Sydney]